Friday, January 22, 2010

Life’s Blues

I still kiss you in my dreams
And dream about you when I kiss
I’ll regain you someday, it seems.
You are the only thing I really miss!

Our yesterday was made of merry promises
Our today balanced on the sides of a divide.
No chance to talk about our near misses,
But I know you’ll be my bride.

I seem to hear echoes of my croons
And see visions of us in the shrine
Asking why our hearts aren’t moons
That’ll make our love to always shine.

The truth

To be honest, you sound like all you care about is yourself, as long as you can gain from a situation. I didn't read one word about love, as there was nothing written about regard for others. Only me me me me, and if it feels good to me, forget others, they are expendable. You also appear ready to Sell yourself to those offering position, and material gain in some way. Nothing about personal character and personal worth, all about status, self servitude and self indulgement. The fact you repeatedly pursued those in relationships with others, dumped the first bf you had because of the things mentioned.............anything attractive about u as a person yet?

The fact you feel hurt..............well, because things didnt go Your way. I wonder if you considered your first bf who you left because someone bought the for sale price tag around your neck, not to mention the managers wife. If you did think about it, certainly u didnt care very much what the feelings are of others.

Love, but you dont sound loveable. I bet you dont even love you, acting like a wild uncontrollable animal. Maybe you will change, but your personality needs alot of it. If you dont, you have the same heart of cruel intentions. Maybe you will find someone of your own standard, and feel the love of your hearts desire with someone LIKE YOUSELF

Your love story should change to, our conquest. If you wanr different feelings, be different and attract your like, or repeat the same in a new way.

My Love story

I was a common college student before, and I had a very good boyfriend, with slender shape, pale skin but handson feature.We love each other very much, and we sticked together everyday in oother's admiring eyes.At that time days went on fastly.
Our intimacy lasted until we both graduated from the university. At the end of the last happy days, our relationship was over.Things started with my betraying of our relationship.
I was hired by a electronic private company, my job was to assist my manager to follow up the manufactorying issues.He was a short man, to be honest, ugly. But I was attracted by has mysterious charm. He was strong,ambitious, and overwhelming.I was totally infatuated in the previous stage of love. I said good bye to my previous boyfriend, and devoted all my time, life and energy to chase the new love. But he disliked me, in his opinion I was just a little girl, kind of ,stupid. I realised this, but I couldn't get rid of the love I had given to him even if there was no return.I lost the capacity to work as his underlying, because of the emotion I had to him. So I quited after a period.
I was stuck in severe pain in my heart. The unbearable miss of him gnaws me everyday every minute.I got a new job in foxconn, as a purchaser. And here I knew a new manager. I hated this new manager because he was girly, I put all my time and energy into my job , and did very well at the begining.But the lovelorn life still disturbed me. Finally he came to find me. We had relationship that night. He didn't really get into my body, as he said he never wanted to hurt me. That's the life, I thinked. Things were bit better after his visit. I had an lover, and I wasn't pure little girl anymore. I had experienced a lot and I was much more sophisicated.
I forgot him quickly. Because I began a new love. Not long the new manager displayed his unique charm which conquered me a lot. I began to fall in love the new manager gradually.But he has married, and had kept a 11 year old boy. I couldn't stay here and concentrated on my job because of my new love. So I made mistakes. That wasn't tolerated in this so strict enironment. I was kicked out .
4 years have been past since my graduation, now I get nothing. I waste my precious time on so ridiculous relationship, with those who have family. Now I get back to Chengdu, and find a stable job here. I hope I will win a good marrige and perfomance in my job.
And I want to caution those who want to play the dangerous games, stop being embroiled with those who have families, that will bring you huge pain and trouble. You will waste your time on it, and you will mess all of your life. like me. But I am still young, I have the chance to refresh my life.

The girl on the train

I had the compartment on the train to myself up to Rohana, and then a girl got on. The couple seeing her off were probably her parents, they seemed very anxious about her comfort, and the woman gave the girl detailed instructions as to where to keep her things, when not to lean out of windows, and how to avoid speaking to strangers.

As I had become blind by then, I could not tell what the girl looked like, but I knew she wore slippers from the way they slapped against her heels, and I liked the sound of her voice.

"Are you going all the way to Dehra Dun?" I asked her as the train pulled out of the station.

I must have been sitting in a dark corner, because my voice startled her. She gave a little exclamation, and said, "I didn't know anyone else was here."

Well, it often happens that people with good eyesight fail to see what is right in front of them. They have too much to observe, I suppose, whereas those who cannot see take in what registers most telling on their remaining senses.

"I didn't see you either at first," I said. "But I heard you come in." I wondered if I would be able to prevent her from discovering that I couldn't see. I thought, provided I keep to my seat, it shouldn't be too difficult.

"I'm getting down at Saharanpur," the girl said. "My aunt is meeting me there. Where are you going?"

"To Dehra Dun, and then to Mussoorie," I replied. "Oh, lucky you! I wish I were going to Mussoorie. I love the mountains. Especially in October."

"Yes, this is the best time." I said, calling on my memories when I could see. "The hills are covered with wild dahlias, the sun is delicious, and at night you can sit in front of a log fire and drink a little brandy.

Most of the tourists have gone, and the roads are quiet and almost deserted."

She was silent, and I wondered if my words had touched her, or whether she thought me a romantic fool. Then I made a mistake. "What is it like outside?" I asked.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

One net-friend said:” I think you have some problem with yourself, you are pretend that you are a nice lady, and actually you are too old to act like that, who care about it, you know nowadays that only bad girls can get good men, but you are pretend to be good girl, why hire your devil mind to other person while you are really are.”
“What do you mean by that?” I am quite confused.
“You act like a nice lady in everything, like good cooking, good acting, good listening, etc, why you don’t do something bad and devil actions.”
“That may hurt people.” I said.
Some friends always tell me that maybe I need not to be that good, maybe some girls can get what they want by not good action. Like the girls that keep relationship with some boys at the same time and get what they want from different boys, they hurt them but they feel all right. Some girls try bad mean to threaten boys so they keep relationship with them, and then get what they look for. Like one example, one of her friend tried to marry to one engineer, which from a rich family. His parents don’t like her, but she slept with that boy and has one baby, so finally they forced to accept her to be their daughter-in-law.
The one that not so mature in complicated relationship that only calculate by others, like my bad experience that I was cheated by one bad guys years ago, finally I got up and go on with my new life. I hate to recall that bad memory and wish it never happen.
But is that world really go that way that bad people get more?